Day 1

My boyfriend Al & I are very close. We met each other later in life (in our 50's, though most people think we're late 30's/early 40's because we both have the young, impish energy and look about us). He's a gorgeous Italian, I'm a petite, cute Irish redhead. After our first date there wasn't a day that went by where we didn't connect in some way: in person, phone, email, text, IM; usually a combination of the above.

On Monday, April 14, 2007, Al didn't return my phone call. That was totally unlike him; on days we couldn't see each other we talked several times on the phone. By the evening I was starting to panic. I reasoned that he probably returned home from his long drive and fell asleep; he'd done that before. I'd call him at 6am the next morning, his normal wake-up time.

On Tuesday, April 15 (tax day), I called him at 6pm. No answer. Okay, he's probably in the shower. 6:15 still no answer. 6:30, 6:45. I'm now in a full blown panic. I live in the San Fernando Valley, he in Santa Monica. I threw on clothes and jumped in the car. Before I left I called my friend Margaret; no answer. On the way over the hill my cell rings - the display says "Al" (or so I think). Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! He's okay. I answer, I hear his voice say, "You tried calling me?" WTF? "Yes!!!! I tried calling you yesterday when you didn't call me back!!!"
"I was supposed to call you?"
"Yes!!!! I was so worried that something had happened to you!!!" I was in tears in both relief and upset.
"I was supposed to call you?"
..... wait, this isn't Al's voice. "Who is this?"
"It's Margaret sweetie. What's going on?"
So I tell her. She's in Portland, but asks me to call her when I get to Al's. My plan is if his car isn't in the driveway I call 911 and report a missing person. If it is there and he doesn't answer the door, I call 911.

I arrive, his parking spot is empty. I call 911. They ask his name, destination and time he was supposed to arrive. I tell them, they put me on hold. They come back on the line and tell me they're connecting me with the coroner. The coroner comes on the line and asks me his name, birthday and address. I tell them. They say he was in a fatal auto accident and they have his wallet. They give me his description: 6'1", 200+ lbs., brown eyes, short dark hair and beard. No! OMG, maybe they switched wallets with another person in the accident and he's okay, or in the hospital. Al is 5'8", about 140, green/blue eyes, long black curly hair and no beard. She tells me she's not the coroner and he won't be in until 2:00pm. It's now 7:45am. I give her my contact info and hang up. I'm in complete and total shock.

I call Margaret, she says to call Ana, so I do. By the time I returned to my apartment 6 friends were waiting for me. By the time the coroner called, I had a dozen friends in my apartment. The coroner confirms it IS Al that died, and that he apparently lost consciousness while driving, the car hit the embankment on the 10 freeway, rolled and he was ejected; killed instantly on impact. No other cars were involved.

I now have to notify his friends and family. Problem is, I only have his sister's phone number and I've never met or talked with her. (He had been planning to take me to New York in the summer to meet the family.) Two of my friends were able to get into his apartment and find his contact list. So I start calling. I left a message for his sister: "This is Aedan, Al's girlfriend, he's been in an accident, please call me." His sister's return call was the most difficult call I've had in my life, as they were very close.

This was the start of an experience that has completely changed my life in many ways. Some are obvious. Some I don't think I've realized yet. But the impetus behind this blog is to put my experiences out there so others who have lost a loved one, and feel they've received communication from them, know you're not alone, you're not crazy, you're not imagining things.

The rest of my blog describes all the communications I've received from him, which started the day after his death. I started writing them down right away so I wouldn't forget. I'm now on my 4th journal. Many of the communications can be "explained away" as my imagination or coincidence. Many cannot. I leave that to you to decide.

If you're reading this before my next post, which is the start of my communications from Al, I apologize, but I need to run off to a meeting. But I'll start with day one very soon ...